Monday, November 16, 2015

Tipping point ...

It's true what they say, you can't have your feet in two boats. At a certain point you have to decide which direction you want to go. The best advice I got when I was near the end of college was from my boss and mentor at the time. He said, "Jerin, you need to pick side. You can't dilly dally on the fence anymore. Pick a direction and move." I wanted to live two lives. One dedicated to God and another dedicated to myself.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying if you choose God, you can't think of yourself anymore. In fact, I think it is because we want to truly take care of ourselves that we should choose God. God really Loves me and you unconditionally. He knows better than anyone what we need and what our heart is really yearning towards.

 Even though I know this, it is still hard to let go of the things around me. After coming back from work, I would rather just watch Netflix than get to work on my to do list. It is not bad to allow myself a break, but the problem arises when I end up watching Netflix all night long and well after the time I should go to bed. I then complain about being too busy for what needs to get done. I complain I'm too busy for God and I can't find time to pray.

Luckily for us, God isn't too busy for us. In every moment, He comes and reminds us of who we are: His beloved children. In every moment, He reminds us He is our Father and He loves us. He constantly "comes to the door of [our] heart and knocks." He wants to be a part of our lives because He knows how much we need Him.

In our faith journey, in order for us to truly grow in our relationship with God, we need to start letting go of the things which keep us from Him. When we start to let go and start to respond to what God is offering us, we will want it more and more. In the end, we will have no regret in surrendering to God. Even now, as I look back, the regrets I have is in not spending more time with God. I have experienced God in amazing ways. I know He is real and He loves me. I can feel the thirst for God in my heart. The greatest danger for me then is when I choose not to spend time with Him.

Just to be in His presence can lift us up from our fallen state. I urge you to keep treading forward. No matter where you are in your walk with God. No matter how far you think you have strayed, God is near to you! He wants to be with you. Spend time with Him. Let Him heal you and let Him comfort you. Do not fear what is around you. God Loves you and He will make a way for you. He knows what He is doing and He will take care of you. When troubles comes, look up to Him for your help comes from Lord.

Father God, I present to you all that I am in this moment. You have blessed me so much and there is nothing I can do to repay you. Yet, in so many ways I leave you out of my life. Please, God, come crashing into my life. Help me to see Your Love. In each moment, big and small, help me to be aware of You. Let me trust in Your Love for me and know you are always guiding me. I may not see You or feel You, but I know you are with me. You are my Emmanuel. I love you Lord, help me to love you more. 

Monday, November 2, 2015

The beginning

Where should we start? As an endearing film once noted, the beginning is a "very good place to start." We were born into this world with nothing and at least in the physical sense, we leave with nothing. Where did this all start? Why did it start? How are we to find our purpose, our reason for living?

As we grow, we look around us to the people who are close to us. Some see a world which is caring and nurturing, while others feel the coldness of being alone. Most however are faced with the realities of both. Either way, we begin our search. We try to understand what is happening around us and why it happens. Some things make us  laugh and smile and others hurt. We learn to satisfy our desires and urges. Soon we recognize the need for something more. There is an emptiness we try to fill with successes, gratification, accomplishments, love and much more. What is it which will allow us to finally rest? When can we truly feel at peace?

No matter which walk of life we come from or what our faith is, we must find answers. Too often I think, even as Christians, we forget the most basic and complete answer to all the questions we have; God is Love. As human beings we are driven by intellect and will to find absolute Truth and perfect Love. We get caught up in what we know, as we forget the unlimited possibilities which are born of faith. God is Love. Love creates. Love created me. I am a child of Love. Love is what moves my very essence. Where should I rest if not in Love? As St. Augustine wrote in reference to God, "You have made us for yourself, O Lord, and our heart is restless until it rests in you."

How much more would I live every moment of my life if I embraced this truth completely? If in every decision I made, I chose always to do what would bring me closer to where I am completely fulfilled, how more vibrant would my life be? Even so, how truly awesome it is that the creator of the universe, who sees all and knows all, does not just see the good in me or the potential for good in me, but Loves me as I am. My God doesn't just turn a blind eye to my faults and my sins, but stares Sin right in the face. My Lover and King, took all of Sin and carried it as a cross and put to death all which could keep me away from Him. My beginning and my end, my all in all.

And so I come to the reality I am made for much more than I can comprehend right now. I will fall and I will stumble, yet, as long as I have breath, never will I stray too far from Love.

My Lord and my God, I thank You for the Love you have shown to me. I thank You for each and every moment of my life as I recognize "all things work for good, for those who love [You] and and are called according to [Your] purpose." I ask for the grace to offer to You all that I am, as I am. I ask for the mercy for all the choices which have led me stray from You. May all that I am, bring greater glory to You and show the world Your immense Love for each of us. May Your Love make me whole and may I share Your Love with each soul I encounter.